THE INTERNET, CA – As you may have read recently, the Born Hairy Tour Championship is currently on life support and its survival is uncertain at this point. Dr. Kevorkian is doing everything in his power to help, but we need at least 340 medios to make the event work and the current sign-up rate certainly doesn’t make it look like we’ll get there.
In case you don’t know, the Born Hairy is played the same days as the World Championship in Vegas and is home to all the players who failed to qualify (too low on their chapter money list) or were ineligible (not enough career (5) or current season (3) events) to play in the MGA World Championship. The top 16 finishers in each year’s Born Hairy receive qualified status at the following year’s WC.
The uncertainty around the event has raised a few questions from medios who have been Born Hairy stalwarts since its creation in 2019. They wonder what will happen to them (some of whom are already registered) if the Born Hairy ends up being put into a medically induced coma this year. To get the answer, we will need to look into the MGA’s past, to an era before the Born Hairy ever existed.
Look at these fresh faced kids, living in a universe where the Born Hairy didn’t exist.
There once was a time when 36 holes were enough to contain all the Medios who wanted to play in the World Championship. It was a simpler time, where you could sleepwalk your way onto a bus in the morning and know without a doubt that you were going to the right course.
Of course, not everything was simpler; because once you got there, you did have to navigate playing a different combination of Lexington & Concord 9s each day. But at least by then you’d had a bloody Mary or two to jolt the brain into action and we actually had a shockingly low FUR (Fuck Up Rate) all the years we did that.
The big challenge for us in those days, was what to do with all the unqualified players who came to Vegas. We couldn’t just let them waltz in and compete for The Belt with all the medios who had rightfully qualified for that honor over the course of the season. But leaving them out completely and giving them nothing to play for also felt wrong.
So we created the LOIQ (Last Opportunity In Qualification) to give them a chance to play their way into the field. It worked great and this is the format we will return to this year if the Born Hairy goes away, so pop a Ritalin and read on.
Assuming you are even eligible*, the next step is to figure out if you’re qualified. This is actually easier with the LOIQ than it was with the Born Hairy. With the BH, it was a floating cut line based on how many people had signed up and where they ranked on their Chapter money list. There’s no floating or “wait and see” when it comes to the LOIQ cut line.
If you finished top 10 on your Chapter money list or won an event in your home chapter this season, you’re Qualified and you’re in the WC field. If you didn’t, you’re in the LOIQ.**
The LOIQ takes place during round 1, with qualified and unqualified medios playing together in harmony as they normally would (so… poorly). After round 1, the top 50% of the LOIQ field (and ties) receive Qualified status and will be playing for The Belt the next day! The bottom 50% do not qualify and will play round 2 as non-competing guests. Better luck next year.
This method gives unqualified medios something to play for and for many, just making it out of the LOIQ is an accomplishment worth celebrating. That’s not a dig, it’s just an acknowledgment that we’re happy to have created something that can offer a rush of adrenaline to those players who have yet to reach their peak mediocre form.
We can’t give you specific examples of who came through the LOIQ and went on to win The Belt (due to mediocre record keeping), but we know it has happened a few times. So even if you’ve had a rough season, keep hope alive and sign up for the WC; because just like when you step onto the first tee, you never know what might happen next!
El Presidente
We promise to keep you posted on any developments, but at this stage we think it’s kinda unlikely the Born Hairy will happen this year. Once we make that call, the field will be capped at 288 players. When this article was written on September 4th, the player count was at 188.
*You must be “eligible” to even have a chance to play in the LOIQ. Players with less than 5 career events or less than 3 events in 2025 are not eligible. If that’s you, you’re welcome to come to Vegas to play golf and have some fun with us, but you will not be competing for anything. These eligibility requirements evolved over the years to make sure that everyone’s handicap is as current and complete as is reasonably possible.
**Last year’s Born Hairy top 16 still get qualified status for this year. Also, Chapter Leaders get qualified status because duh, none of this happens without them.
MGAWC 